Organization XIII What the Hell Moments
by XXTechnoXMasterXX
Summary: What happens when Organization XIII finds out about fanfictions?  What are their daily lives like?  Just a look inside the life of the group of insane Nobodies.
1. Fanfictions & pictures  Dear God, why!

"WHAT THE HELL?" The shocked Organization XIII members hear Xanthia yell.

"That can't possibly be good." Axel mumbles.

"You're so smart, Axel." Roxas says, rolling his eyes at the redhead.

"Ah, shut up Roxy!"

"No, you shut up!"

"No you!"

"No you!"

"You!"

"You!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Xemnas yells, already getting a headache from the two arguing Nobodies.

"Yes Superior!" They squeak.

"Now someone go and see what probably cause Xanthia to be scarred for life. Who else nominates Zexion?"

"I!" Everyone (but Zexion) says.

"Fine. Is it because I'm her twin?"

"Yes, and everyone else is just too lazy."

"Damn straight!" Xigbar agrees.

Zexion gets up and walks out of the living room. Then he looks at the multiple doors of everyone else's rooms, searching for his sister's door. He finally finds it and opens the door, to find Xanthia on the ground looking at the computer on her desk as if she wants it to explode.

"What happened here, sis?"

"Look at the damn screen! It's just not right!"

The slate haired teen does as he's told and walks across the room, looking at the computer screen. His eye twitches at the picture being displayed.

"WHAT THE HELL?" The rest of Organization XIII can hear him yell.

"Uh oh. . ."

"Axel, go see what's wrong."

"WHY ME? THE LAST TIME I WENT INTO XANTHIA'S ROOM, I ENDED UP BEING HOG-TIED AND TAPED TO THE CEILING!"

"That's because you also burned her last computer and TV, you're lucky you aren't dead."

"He's got a point." Roxas comments.

Xemnas rolls his eyes. "Of course I do, I'm the Superior."

Axel trudges off to Xanthia's room and walks inside, seeing the twins standing on opposite sides of the room and giving each other death glares.

"Whoa, what did I miss?"

"They have pictures of me and Zexion . . . together . . ."

"What do you mean by 'together'?"

"Just look at the computer."

Axel shrugs and looks at the picture. Then he starts laughing like crazy.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! IT'S MENTALLY SCARRING!" The two siblings yell at the same time.

"What's this site called? I so need to keep this for blackmail!"

"Oh please, they also have pictures of you with other members. . ."

"Oh no. . ."

"Oh yes. . ." Xanthia smirks and types in AkuRoku, AkuDemy, and AkuRiku.

Axel's reaction is just like theirs. "WHAT THE HELL?"

"This site's called deviantART. Apparently they have fans of these pairings. The pairings of guys with guys is called yaoi. And then there's twincest. . ." She shivers at the thought and Zexion's eye twitches again, "but they apparently believe everyone in the Organization likes someone else, especially you and Roxas."

"THIS AIN'T RIGHT! NOT RIGHT AT ALL!"

Zexion smirks at Axel, who looks like he's living his worst nightmare. "Hm, should we check out the other members?"

"Hell yeah."

Xanthia pushes Axel out of the chair and types in her own name. In it pops up pairings of her and Zexion (which mentally scar the poor twins), her and Axel (she has a mini, unnoticeable mental breakdown at that), her and Saix (which doesn't faze the teen at all), her and Xigbar (another mini mental breakdown), then her and Demyx (which she nearly falls out of the chair again).

"OH. MY. FRICKIN'. GOD!" She whisper/yells. "I AM NOT A WHORE! THAT'S LARXENE'S DAMN JOB!" She types in 'Larxene' and finds the blonde paired up with everyone (except for Xanthia, only for the poor Nobody's sake and for the last string of her sanity . . . Which she'll probably lose in a few hours). "SEE!"

"Type in my name." Zexion says.

"Okay, get ready to die a little on the inside." She says and types in her brother's name.

Results pop up showing him and Demyx (he has a slightly more visible breakdown at seeing that), him and Lexaeus, which makes Zexion lose it.

"WHAT? HE WOULD CRUSH ME! I DON'T WANNA BE CRUSHED! I WANNA LIVE!"

Xanthia hits him in the back of the head. "GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, DUMBASS!"

Back to the results, it also shows him and Xanthia (they both die a little on the inside at that), and him and Xigbar.

"ME AND THAT PERV? GAH, I'M BLIND!"

"All of us are, bro. I'm now typing in Saix."

It shows Saix and Xanthia (which doesn't seem to bother the three Nobodies looking at the screen) and then him and Xemnas, causing all three of the Nobodies to start laughing so much they fall onto their backs.

"HIM AND SUPERIOR? H'OH MY GOD! WELL, NOW XEMNAS GETS A 'LIL DOGGY!" Xanthia laughs.

"HE EVEN HAS LITTLE PUPPY EARS AND A TAIL AND A LEASH! PRICELESS!" Zexion agrees.

Axel's just laughing too hard to comment.

The three Nobodies continue looking at everybody else's pairings and results, Xanthia saving over half of them. Some of the results scar the three Nobodies while others make them laugh until they stop breathing.

Back in the living room, everyone looks at the direction of Xanthia's room with confused faces.

"What's going on in there? All three of them are laughing. . ."

"That means that this castle is probably gonna get blown up. . ."

Xemnas rolls his eyes again and stands up. "Organization meeting, now."

Everyone (even Axel, Xanthia, and Zexion) show up and sit down.

"Alright, why were you three laughing?"

Zexion, Xanthia, and Axel look at each other before turning back to Xemnas.

"Well. . ."

"Ya see. . ."

"There's this one site. . ."

Then they got out some pictures, and you could hear, from at least 20,000 miles away, all the horrified Organization member's screams.

All that's left are Axel, Xanthia, and Zexion since everyone else is passed out.

"Wow. . ." Zexion mumbles.

"Wanna go sell Roxy on eBay or Amazon?" Axel suggests a few seconds later.

"WE'LL BE RICH!" Xanthia yells, laughing madly. "Alright, pick him up, I'll set up the bidding."

"'Kay." The other two say.


	2. That was One Weirdass Party

Roxas, since he was sold on eBay, is in a Fangirl's basement.

"HELP ME! PLEASE! I'M TOO YOUNG FOR ALL OF THIS! I DON'T WANT IT! OH DEAR KINGDOM HEARTS, SOMEONE HELP ME!" He yells, currently chained to a wall. "THIS IS KIDNAPPING! THIS ISN'T LEGAL! GIMME A LAWYER! C'MON, THIS IS ABUSE! CHILD LABOR! SOMEONE HELP ME! AXEL, XANTHIA, AH HELL I WOULD EVEN TAKE VEXEN'S HELP! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!"

**-a few weeks later-**

Xemnas walks into the computer room of the castle (if they don't have one, then pretend they do!) and sees over half of the Organization members sitting and typing things into a site called 'deviantART'.

"NOT THIS AGAIN! THE LAST TIME ONLY THREE OF YOU WENT ON THERE WE FOUND ROXAS IN A FANGIRL'S BASEMENT CHAINED TO A CHAIR AND GAGGED!"

"Oh c'mon dude, this stuff's hilarious!" Xigbar argues.

Xanthia looks at a picture with wide eyes and tries not to laugh. "Um, Superior. . .Did you know that your name spelled differently is. . .Um. . ."

"Spit it out, Number XIV."

She gets up from the chair and whispers the name in his ear.

"IT'S WHAT?"

"IT'S MANSEX! SUPERIOR IS MANSEX! OUR LEADER IS YAOI!" Xanthia says, starting to laugh like every other Nobody in the room.

Xemnas storms out of the room. "CAN I GET NO RESPECT?"

"Hey, Xanthia, thanks for making us all dA accounts so we can pick on Mansex." Axel laughs.

"No problem, Ax. Hey, you know that party we had last week?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Apparently someone wrote it and posted it on here, maybe I can see how I ended up with a burnt skeleton of Demyx's sitar. . ." Xanthia mumbles, clicking on the story.

"Oh, this I've gotta read. . ." Roxas says and walks over to Xigbar, Axel, Xanthia, Zexion, and Luxord.

"Wait, am I reading this correctly? It says I got promoted to Number III! IN YO FACE, XALDIN!" Xanthia yells out of surprise at reading the first paragraph of the story.

"Wow, sideburn-monkey's gonna get really pissed off."

"Not if I tell him what you called him, Axel."

"Shutting up now."

(now back to the story they're reading) :

_'Gah, what type of music is this?' Xigbar and Xanthia whine, changing the radio stations but finding nothing good. _

_ 'It's called Country.'_

_ 'I hate Country, where's rock?' Xigbar snarls, close to pounding the poor radio into dust._

_ 'Someone's angry. . .' Xanthia mumbles._

_ Xemnas walks over and plugs in an iPod Touch. 'There, now choose whichever band you want and stop bitching. . .'_

_ Xanthia immediately chooses Godsmack and starts playing 'What if?'. _

_ 'Awesome, dude! Do we have any beer though?'_

_ 'Xiggy, we are way underage (drinking age is 21 and in my stories they're all teenagers like 14, 15, 16 years old [I made them that way because I can! My story my rules:p ]) and I highly doubt Xemnas wants two drunken pyro's freely roaming the castle and setting random junk on fire.' Xanthia rolls her eyes at the thought._

_ 'Oh c'mon lil' dudette! I wanna see how you would act if you were drunk!'_

_ Axel, who was sitting next to them the whole time, starts laughing. 'Dude, the whole place would burn down in about five seconds if we were drunk, or just either of us in general, got it memorized?'_

_ 'As if! You know it would be hilarious to see her set Vexen's ass on fire!'_

_ 'It was hilarious, only I wasn't drunk and I was fully capable of my actions. But I have to say, it's hard lighting Vexen's ass on fire since he ain't got one.'_

_ 'I DO TOO HAVE AN ASS! AND IT STILL HURTS FROM WHEN YOU SET IT ON FIRE!'_

_ 'Tch, no. You just don't have an ass, Vexy.'_

_ 'YES I DO! IT'S JUST THAT YOU PRACTICALLY BURNED IT OFF!'_

_ 'I can't burn off something you never had to begin with.'_

_ 'Why are we still talking about Vexen's ass? I mean c'mon, he's really old and it doesn't feel right talking about him.'_

_ 'HEY, I'M RIGHT HERE YA KNOW! AND ADMIT IT XANTHIA, I DO TOO HAVE AN ASS!'_

_ 'Vexen, Axel has a nice ass, hell bDEMYX and MARLUXIA/b have nice asses, you don't even have an ass!'_

_ 'BUT-'_

_ 'NO DAMN BUTS YA OLD HAG!' _

_ Axel smirks. 'Heh, Xanthia thinks I have a nice ass, got it memorized?' He asks Xigbar._

_ 'AS IF!'_

"Oh yeah, so that's why my bedroom door was frozen shut. I said Vexen has no ass. But honestly, do any of you disagree?"

None of the Nobodies disagree but Luxord starts laughing. "You slammed the poor old man, Xanthia!"

"I know, it's what I do." She replies with a smirk. "Okay, moving on."

_'Do you honestly believe that Xanthia thinks you have a nice ass, dude?'_

_ 'Hell yeah, got it memorized?'_

_ 'As if. . .'_

_ 'Oh not this again. . .'_

_ 'What's gonna happen again, dude?'_

_ 'Well. . .' :link to a youtube video in the story that shows Axel and Xigbar yelling at it each other:_

"What's the link for?"

"If I knew I would've told ya, now wouldn't I?"

"One of ya just click the bloody link already!"

"FINE!" Xanthia says and clicks the stupid link.

**"Got it memorized?"**

** "As if!"**

** "Got. It. Memorized?"**

** "As. If!"**

** "Do you have it frickin' memorized?"**

** "Like I said before, AS IF!"**

** "GOT IT MEMORIZED?"**

** "AS FRICKIN' IF, FLAMER!"**

** "GET IT MEMORIZED INTO YOUR THICK-ASS SKULL YA PIRATE WANABE!"**

** "AS IF MR. IMUSTSPEND11,,000OF!" Translation: Mr. I must spend 11,000 munny on one tiny container of hair gel that I use about 5,000 of.**

** Then it goes to a fist-fight.**

"When did that happen?"

"I think the people that made this video are in a group of people all over the world called cosplayers. . . They're regular people who dress as us and TRY to act like us, or just give us completely different personalities."

"That's just way too creepy, got it memorized?"

"As if."

"G-"

"If you start that fight I'll end it by sending you both to the asylum or hospital, or both." Zexion growls.

Both Xigbar and Axel shut up.

_'Oh yeah, I remember that. You punched me in the good eye, dude.'_

_ 'Yeah well you kicked me. Ya know, I might've wanted to have children. . .'_

_ 'Ehehehehe. . . I was planning for that affect. . .'_

_ 'Alright Nobodies, we're going to have a singing contest.' Xemnas announces_

_ 'You wanna go deaf?' Xanthia asks him, looking at Vexen with an expression practically screaming 'He sings and all of our ears shall blow up!'_

_ 'Nah, I just wanna make fun of some people. The judges are going to be Me, Xanthia, and Demyx.'_

_ 'Why's Demyx a judge?'_

_ 'Because he's one of the two people here that actually knows about music other than Xanthia. And I just don't wanna sing.'_

_ 'That actually makes sense.'_

_ Xemnas, Xanthia, and Demyx all sit down at a judges table (it just magically appeared. . .). _

_ 'We're going by number. Xigbar's up.'_

_ 'Oh God. . .' Xanthia winces, covering her ears._

_ 'Xigbar's going to sing. . .Janie's Got A Gun by Aerosmith.'_

_ 'So you're picking the songs or are they?'_

_ 'The three of us pick the songs.'_

_ 'Oh this is going to be fun. . .' Demyx and Xanthia start plotting on how to humiliate some people._

_ Xigbar actually sings the song pretty well, leaving Xanthia and Demyx clapping while Xemnas just nods._

_ 'Xaldin's up. And he's singing. . .'_

_ 'FEVER BY ADAM LAMBERT!' Xanthia shouts, standing up and trying not to laugh._

_ 'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' Demyx laughs, falling off of his chair._

_ Xemnas chuckles, nearly laughing at the thought of Xaldin singing a whole Adam Lambert CD._

_ 'I HAVE TO WHAT?' Xaldin yells._

_ Xanthia starts laughing along with Demyx and every other Nobody in the room._

_ 'I'M NOT DOING IT!'_

_ 'YOU HAVE TO! I ALREADY GAVE XANTHIA YOUR PLACE IN THE RANKS!'_

_ 'YOU WHAT? WHY?'_

_ 'I don't know, I just felt like it.'_

_ Saix and Lexaeus drag Xaldin out there before walking away. Xaldin sings it, leaving everyone laughing._

_ 'Next is Vexen.'_

_ 'Another Adam Lambert song.'_

_ 'No, he'll ruin any song. I say Cold as Ice by Foreigner.' _

_ Demyx and Xanthia nod in agreement. But before Vexen can even walk up to the mic, Xanthia stands up and shouts 'NEXT!'. Demyx laughs again while Xemnas smirks while shaking his head._

_ 'Now it's Lexaeus. Anyone think of a song?'_

_ 'Surprisingly not.'_

_ 'Lexaeus, you don't have to sing!'_

_ Lexaeus nods in gratitude. Zexion walks on stage._

_ 'Alright bro, you're singing Sexyback by Justin Timberlake.' Xanthia smirks, seeing Zexion go pale, well paler than he was before._

_ 'Not this again! C'mon sis, you of all people should know how many times I get told to sing that!'_

_ 'I'm now 3 ranks ahead of you, bro, you gotta do what I say!'_

_ 'DAMN IT!' Zexion hisses before starting to sing, millions of fangirl cheers can be heard coming from miles away._

_ 'Now Saix.'_

_ 'Saix is going to sing Bodies by Drowning Pool.'_

_ 'I agree with that choice, what about you Demyx?'_

_ 'I like it, it suites him.'_

_ Saix walks up and nods, singing the song so perfectly he gets a standing ovation from all three judges._

_ 'Now Axel.'_

_ 'I say we make Axel sing two songs.' Demyx suggests._

_ 'For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert and Burnin' For You by Blue Öyster Cult.' Xanthia suggests. _

_ 'Those sound good.'_

_ Axel sings the songs, getting a standing ovation by Demyx and Xanthia. He winks before walking off stage._

_ 'Okay, now Luxord.'_

_ 'Final Countdown by Europe. I can't think of anything else. . .'_

_ 'I know, hard finding a song for him. . .Yeah, we'll go with your choice.'_

_ Luxord sings, sounding surprisingly good even though he's drunk. No one knows how he got drunk especially since there's no beer. . .But hey, it's Luxord, he probably found a way._

_ 'Marluxia.'_

_ 'Born this Way and Boys, Boys, Boys by Lady Gaga and also Dude Looks like a Lady by Aerosmith.'_

_ At this, everyone except Marluxia laughs._

_ 'Xanthia is the song-picking goddess!'_

_ 'Thank you, thank you, you're too kind!'_

_ 'I don't wanna sing those songs.' Marluxia whines._

_ 'You'll sing them and you'll dance to them, and you'll do every other thing we tell you to!'_

_ 'Yes Superior. . .WAIT, DID YOU SAY I HAD TO DANCE? BUT-'_

_ 'Shut up and dance you pink haired he-she.'_

_ Marluxia sings, dances, and at the end he collapses onto the ground, forcing Saix to drag him off, well more like kick him off since The Luna Diviner didn't really want to lay a hand on him (Marluxia germs maybe?)._

_ 'Larxene? Get your earplugs ready!' Xemnas warns._

_ Everyone pulls out earplugs and puts them in._

_ 'Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne!' Xanthia suggests._

_ 'WHAT? WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!' The other Nobodies yell._

_ She types it up on a computer and shows it to them._

_ 'OH! OKAY!'_

_ Larxene sings, but no one hears her so I can't tell you how well she sang._

_ 'Xanthia, you sing now.' Xemnas says once they all take their earplugs out._

_ 'Why? I hate singing in front of people!'_

_ 'Just do it.'_

_ 'Fine. . .I don't wanna have my rank dropped back down to XIV. I'm singing Tourniquet by Evanescence.' She gets up there, sings, and actually gets a standing ovation by everyone. She sits down like nothing happened after pushing Demyx up there. 'NOW SING!'_

_ 'I knew they were sending the wrong guy for this. . .' He sings that sitar song (see the beginning of Demyx Time to know what I'm talking about since I don't know the full name.) _

"I still can't believe you made me sing Sexyback. . ." Zexion growls angrily.

"Hey what's that?" Axel says, pointing to a story that only has ZxX as a title.

Xanthia clicks it and it turns out to be ZexXanthia. Xanthia falls out of her chair and hides under the table. Axel gets a nosebleed while reading the story, Xigbar adds it to his favorites, Zexion goes to the corner, and Luxord lets the other two Nobodies who are actually liking the story to place bets on how long the twins will stay in their hiding places.

Axel pokes Xanthia's shoulder. "C'mon Xanthia! It's not that bad! Well to you it is, but to us, well you saw our reactions. . ."

"I'm never coming out of here! This'll be where I die because I'm staying here forever!"

"Me too!" Zexion agrees.

"What if we threaten your computer, eh?"

"Touch my baby and you shall burn!" She growls, fire forming around her hands as it usually does when she gets angry.

"EEP!"

Xanthia crawls from out under the desk and sits back in the chair. She types in AkuRoku and has a nosebleed within seconds. Axel covers his eyes and walks over to a corner while bumping into many things along the way.

"THE HORROR! MY EYES! I'M BLIND!"

"Shaddup flamer! I actually like this stuff!" Xanthia says, adding many of the pictures and stories to her favorites.

Xigbar's eye widens. "Wow, I didn't know Roxas was that. . .Flexible?"

Roxas walks down to the basement and hides in a corner. "I HATE THAT PAIRING! I'M NEVER COMING BACK UP THERE!"

"Aw, c'mon Roxy!" Zexion whines, imitating Axel's voice.

Xanthia laughs. "Yeah Roxy, the pairing isn't THAT bad!" She agrees, also imitating Axel's voice.

"Whoa. . .I didn't know you could do THAT with a keyblade. . ." Luxord mumbles, pointing at a picture.

Xanthia clicks it and everyone (except Axel who's still hiding in a corner) starts laughing. "Axel got pwned!"

"Well, I don't think it's pwnage if Axel's enjoying it. . ."

"DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE SEEING!" Axel shouts from his little emo corner.

"Too bad! We're talking about it!"

**-the next day-**

Zexion, Xanthia, Roxas, Axel, Luxord, and Xigbar all scream from their separate rooms once they get on their dA accounts.

Xemnas is sitting at his desk typing stuff into a laptop.

"Superior, are you sure it's okay for you to be writing fan-fictions of the other members and sending them to the people they're about?" Saix asks, standing right next to Xemnas and looking at what he's typing.

"Saix, I'm the Superior, I can do whatever the hell I want."

"I don't doubt that Superior, but what about the other member's mental health? If they're mentally scarred they won't function correctly and the Organization'll go down."

"They'll get over it. . .Now, what do you think of this MarXanthia story?"

"That's a pairing?"

"Surprisingly yes."

"I feel sorry for Xanthia."

"So do I, but what do you think of the story?"

Saix reads it. "Put it on mature content."

"Then she'll have to be 18 to read it, she's around 16 right now so it'll be a couple years before she reads it."

"Don't put it on strict mature content. Just slight mature content and she'll be able to read it."

"Okay." Xemnas says and submits the story. A few seconds later, Xanthia screams bloody murder. "Poor girl. Apparently Marluxia isn't up yet or else we would've heard a more girly scream right now. Alright, read this DemXanthia story."

Saix reads it and laughs a little at the end. "'Xanthia then burns the water lover and walks away.'? What were you thinking Superior?"

"I don't want to make it all bad, Saix. Xanthia's one of our best fighters and interrogators, she goes crazy and the Organization's dead."

"I don't doubt that. But aren't we all crazy?"

"Good point."

Xemnas submits that story, hearing Xanthia scream a few seconds later then Demyx scream and what sounds like something falling to the floor. "Okay then, now what about this MarVex story?"

"Number IV and Number XI? God, that even scares me."

"I know, Saix. It scared me and I'm the one that wrote it!" Xemnas says as he and Saix read the story. He submits it and the two Nobodies wait in silence before hearing two horrified screams go off.

"I'M NOT A DAMN WOMAN!" Marluxia yells from his room.

"You put Marluxia as a woman, Superior?"

"Whoops."


	3. Finding Love in a Bookstore?

"Nobodies! Organization XIII meeting now!" Xemnas yells.

Annoyed groans can be heard as each of them appears through different portals.

"No offence to your rank or anything Superior, but. . . IT'S 2 IN THE FRICKIN' MORNING!" Xanthia growls.

"Oh please, Number III. I bet you were planning on staying up past this current time."

"Eh, you have a point. Now, what is it that you could possibly want?"

"We have a new member. Organization XIII, meet Alixen." Xemnas announces, stepping to the side and revealing a tall girl with pale skin and short purple hair.

"That all dude?" Xigbar asks.

"No. We're actually going to have a real meeting. Why else would I say meeting instead of 'oh we have a new member, don't kill her in the first five minutes. . .'?"

The other Nobodies roll their eyes and the meeting starts. They discuss that Vexen isn't allowed to experiment on anybody, Marluxia should act more like a guy, Xigbar should stop eavesdropping on everyone, Axel should stop groping Roxas/being a pervert in general and also lighting stuff on fire, Xanthia should stop seeing everything as a target dummy and also burning everything she can get her hands on, and many, many other things.

"That's it? What's so special about her?" Larxene snarls as Marluxia just nods when they walk back to their rooms like everyone else.

Alixen walks up to Xanthia since they're the only people left. "What's her damage?" She asks quietly.

"Eh, don't worry. She's like this with all the new female members. She doesn't like all the other girls getting the attention. And she's just an annoying bitch to begin with."

Alixen nods. "Do you know who that guy was?"

"What did he look like?"

"He had hair that covered his right eye."

"He's my twin, his name's Zexion."

"He's cute."

"Good luck getting him away from the books though, it's like he's literally glues to them."

"Well who're you with? If you're with anyone."

"You know the one with blue hair and the X on his face? His name's Saix. That's the one I'm with."

Alixen nods. Then a huge crash sounds followed by Xemnas yelling at someone, either Demyx or Marluxia, in Japanese. With that, they walk away to their separate rooms. A few hours later when everyone's actually ready to get up some people head to the living room while others just stay in their rooms. Then there's an explosion from the kitchen.

Everyone else who's in the living room looks up and sees Axel standing by the counter.

"What'd ya do this time flamer?"

"I didn't do anything! I was getting a drink when the toaster. . .Uh, spontaneously combusted? Ehehehe. . ."

"Yeah, because things just randomly combust for fun." Xanthia mumbles, walking into the living room and sitting on Saix's lap. "Where's the remote?" She asks as Saix wraps his arms around her waist.

"Well – Whoa, whoa, whoa! You and Saix are together?" As Axel says that, everyone stares at the two easily-angered Nobodies.

"Yeah, wasn't it obvious?"

"Uh, no."

"Well it is now so get used to it moron."

"Someone's not a morning person."

"Yeah, four hours of sleep tend to do that to some people."

"You shouldn't stay up to God knows what in the morning."

"Don't you have to 'accidentally' make something else spontaneously combust?"

"Leaving now." Axel says and walks off. . .to the library?

When he leaves, Xanthia and Larxene start arguing over the remote. Though when Xanthia threatens to set Larxene's hair on fire, the argument stops and The Shadow of Electric Flames (Xanthia) gets the remote. But when she looks, nothing that's good is on. A few more minutes later, they hear a scream.

"Why does this always happen in the morning?" Larxene yells.

"You mean that this is a regular morning?" Alixen asks.

"Well, this is more or less of how our whole days are." Xanthia explains.

"Uh oh."

"You get used to it actually."

"Shouldn't we go see who screamed?" Demyx asks.

Even though most of them don't want to, they all go and see who screamed. The group walks to the library and sees Zexion staring at a pile of ashes.

"Where'd the books go, dude?" Xigbar asks.

"Axel burned them."

"Well bro, I'd really like to help but I really don't feel like it. But don't worry, we'll get the books back." Xanthia says as her and Saix leave.

"I just don't really care at all. See ya later emo kid." Larxene says and walks away with a shrug.

"I'm not emo!" Zexion mumbles, looking at the pile of ash that used to be his books.

Everyone else walks out of the library mumbling to themselves, but Alixen stays. She walks up to Zexion and they start talking.

"How much did all those books cost?"

"Since this pile is every single book that used to be in this whole library (and the library is HUGE) and every book that used to be in my room. . . Over 50,000 munny."

"Wow. . . That's a lot of books . . . Yet they make such a small pile of ash. . ."

". . . . . . I know."

-back in the living room-

"Your emo brother's pathetic when it comes to books, Xanthia." Larxene laughs.

"Uh oh." Xigbar mumbles as everyone backs up, leaving more room for Larxene and Xanthia to fight.

Xanthia smirks and shakes her head, walking over to Larxene and whispering something in her ear before walking away with a bigger smirk. Everyone else rushes over to Larxene, asking about what Xanthia said.

"That is one scary, demonic, sadistic, horrifying little child." Is all Larxene is able to say.

-with Demyx and Roxas-

"OOOOOOOO! Roxas, can we get this one! Or what about this one! OOOO or this-" Demyx is cut off by Roxas slapping his hand over his mouth.

"Keep saying that and I'll super glue your mouth shut. Got it?" Demyx nods. "Good. Now, if I take my hand off of your mouth, will you calm down?" The Melodious Nocturne nods again. "Good, now which one did you want?"

Demyx points to a stuffed-animal-like thing that's blue and green.

"Fine, but this is the ONLY thing you're getting, got it?"

"Okay! Thanks Roxas!"

Roxas sighs and picks up the stuffed animal. "What are these things called anyway? Little-bug-eyes or whatever?"

"No, silly! They're called. . . Uh, how do you pronounce this?" Demyx asks, pointing at a word on the box.

". . . . . .Toy. . . . .It says 'toy', Demyx. . . . . . ."

"OH! Anyway, they're called. . . Wait, I forget. . ."

"OH MY GAWD!" And that is when Roxas finally loses his mind. . .Leave it to Demyx to make someone crazy by acting like himself. . .Who's gonna tell Axel? And who's gonna tell Superior? C'mon, place your bets!

-At the bookstore-

Saix and Zexion stand at the back of the bookstore, waiting for Xanthia and Alixen to come find them since the two girls are off searching for books. "Number VI, you do realize I'm only doing this because Xanthia insisted on it." Saix growls, carrying a stack of 20 books at the bare minimum.

"I know, remind me to thank her later."

"Why can't you carry some of these books, VI?"

"Aw, but you're carrying them so well!"

". . . . . . I'm not a Demyx, VI . . ."

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Damn it. . ."

Just then Alixen and Xanthia come running up to them, Xanthia carrying a lot of books with 'ghost', 'murder', 'bloody', 'vampire' (the real ones that burn in the sunlight.) 'crucifixes', and many other things of that nature in the titles of the hardcover books, while Alixen is only carrying about four books.

"HOW AM I GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF THESE?" Zexion asks, staring at all of the books that they have which is probably over forty books.

"I don't know. You're lucky that I'm making Axel regret burning your books, bro." Xanthia smirks.

"What did you do to him?"

"Oh, I haven't done anything yet. . ."

_**FLASHBACK TIME**_

"What're ya gonna do to me Xanthia?" Axel asks nervously, looking at Xanthia who's holding her scythe and has a murder-intent-glare in her eyes.

"Oh, I'm not gonna do anything YET. I'm gonna get ya back though. But you won't know when, how, or where. But I'll be ready to strike at any time. I'll even be planning on how to get you back while I'm sleeping." She whispers, striking more fear into Axel than if she were yelling at him. She walks over to the door of his bedroom and opens it, standing in the doorway and ready to walk out. "But don't worry, it's not like I'll kill you or anything. . .Maybe. . .But that's just a 70% percent chance. Anyway, have a nice day, **Number VIII**." She smiles evilly, sending a frightened shiver down Axel's spine as she walks away happily.

Axel falls off of his bed as the door closes. "I wish she was yelling at me!" His eyes widen. "I'VE GOTTA HIDE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" He says and dashes to his closet, slamming the door shut and hiding in a corner and hoping Xanthia doesn't kill him.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

"So THAT'S why I haven't seen Axel anymore today, he's hiding in a closet. . ." Alixen says.

"You're really gonna kill him?" Zexion asks.

"Kill one of my best friends all because he burned my brother's books that're already getting replaced? Tch, no!"

"Then what're ya gonna do?" Alixen asks.

"Most likely paint everything in his room pink, dye his hair pink, say Marluxia did it, or make him dress up as either a girl or a little child and send Xigbar on him."

"Larxene was right, you ARE scary." Alixen says.

"Only to people who're on my bad side, have mocked my family, or have just made me really angry. But to Larxene, I would most likely dye her hair green or white, change all her clothes so they're seven sizes too small and send her to a really bad bar and or club, replace her kunai's with licorice, and lock her in a room with Lexaeus for five days until she runs out screaming because the silence drove her insane." Xanthia smiles and snaps her fingers. "Now I've got a new idea on how to scare her!"

"Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"Nah, you're my friend, I'm not THAT cruel to my friends."

"Anyway, sis are you gonna pay for your own books?"

"What do you think, Zexy?"

"I told you not to call me Zexy! No one's allowed to call me Zexy!"

"Aw, but I want to call you Zexy, I think it's cute!" Alixen complains.

At that, Zexion blushes slightly but hides it with his hair. "Hey Xanthia, can I talk with you privately?"

"Sure, Alixen, Saix, do you mind?"

"Not at all, come on XVII." Saix says as he and Alixen leave.

"What did you want to talk about bro?"

"Um. . ." Zexion hesitates and looks at the ground.

Xanthia reads his face like an open book (no pun intended). She gasps and smiles. "YOU LIKE ALIXEN!" She says.

Zexion clamps his hand over her mouth. "Yes, I do! But I want to keep it a secret! You're good with secrets if you're friends with the person who told you the secret, I'm your brother, so PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T TELL HER!" He hisses, pouting and giving Xanthia his best puppy-eyes look.

Xanthia sighs, rolling her eyes and removing Zexion's hand from her mouth so that she can talk. "Fine, fine. But I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it. At least allow me to tell Saix? I mean c'mon, he's my boyfriend."

"FINE, BUT THAT'S IT! AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TELL AXEL, MARLUXIA, DEMYX, OR XIGBAR! PLEASE!"

"I already said I wouldn't and I almost always keep my word."

"The 'almost' part is the part that worries me."

"Blah, blah, blah."

"Why must you do that? It's not like this is a meeting!"

"I don't act that way during meetings."

"Yeah, you're either talking to Xigbar, Axel, or Saix. Either that or you're asleep."

". . . . . . . . I liked it better when you were a bookworm sometimes . . . . . ."

**-at the other side of the bookstore-**

"I'm surprised that you and Xanthia became friends so easily, she usually takes getting used to if you aren't used to her type of personality." Saix comments setting the books he's holding onto a table.

"I know, but somehow we're friends. I guess because that we're the only girls in the Organization, other than Larxene."

Saix nods. "Do you think her and VI are done talking yet?"

"Probably, wanna go see?"

"Eh, sure." Saix agrees and picks the books up from the table.

They walk back to Xanthia and Zexion who're sitting on top of a table.

"You guys done talking?"

"Yeah, about ten minutes ago."

"Why didn't you call us?" They all look at Xanthia.

"Mansex took away my cell phone. He said that Xigbar and I weren't supposed to use it to call Demyx in the middle of the night, use a voice-changer or whatever it's called and say 'I'm in your closet.', or 'I'm behind you.', or 'I'm under your bed.', or even 'I'm watching you. . .' because apparently Demyx would stay holding the phone to his ear and staring at whatever place we said we were hiding and not even blink or fall asleep. He also said that we couldn't prank-call Vexen and pretend to be an alien that wanted his brain so that we could take over the world. Then he said that we couldn't prank-call Marluxia and say that we want him for a model or whatever. And we also shouldn't have prank-called Vexen again, pretending to be failed experiments, saying that we were going to dissect his brain and do tests on him for payback."

"I wish I was there. It sounds like you and Xigbar are the Organization XIII prank-call masters."

"Yeah, he took away my cell phone but not Xigbar's, Axel's, Roxas', or Demyx's. We all prank call people. I once called Vexen and, with a helium-ized voice, called him a 'old perverted pedophile who has a thing for Marly-the-man-whore."

They start laughing at that.

"Wait, you on helium? Oh my God."

"You think me on helium would be bad? Try Xigbar on helium!" She mimics Xigbar's voice on helium and nails it. "Dude, why do I always say dude all the time, dude?" She says, mimicking Xigbar.

The four Nobodies laugh at this. "I think he hit his head a little too hard when he was surfing and his mind got stuck like that or something." Alixen comments.

"As if!" Xanthia laughs, still mimicking the pirate-wannabe.

Zexion motions to the piles of books that they have yet to pay for. "Should we go pay for these now?"

"Sounds like a good idea, we're starting to get weird looks." Xanthia agrees.

The other two Nobodies nod so Saix and Xanthia pick up the books. When they pass an open door to an empty room, the Fire of Electric Flames shoves Zexion in then Alixen.

"Have fun you two!" She giggles, closing the door and locking it, ignoring the pounding from the other side that she receives as a response.

"LET US OUT!" Zexion and Alixen plead.

"Not until I feel like it."

"Why did you do that, Xanthia?" Saix asks her, looking at the door then back to his grinning girlfriend.

"I know what I'm doing, Saix-puppy. Promise to keep a secret?"

The blue haired teen nods.

Xanthia leans in so that way no one else will overhear. "Alixen and Zexion like each other, we're going to keep them in there until they do something."

Saix smirks and nods.

Xanthia leans against the wall next to the door. "Hey bro, can I borrow your cell phone? I need to check something."

A black phone with a steel-blue shine with VI on the back is soon pushed under the door and Xanthia picks it up, smiling. "Thanks bro. Hey Saix, now let me see your phone." Saix nods and takes out a midnight-blue cell phone with the Roman numerals VII on the back and hands it to Xanthia. "Okay, now I'm going to add my brother's number into here and your number into his phone so that way we can let them stay here and go get something to eat or whatever." She mumbles as she punches in a few numbers before sliding Zexion's phone back under the door. "When you two finally do something, call Saix's phone and we'll come let you out."

"But-" Zexion starts.

"No buts, bro."

"Why-" Alixen begins.

"It shall all be revealed if you stay in the damn closet and say stuff! It's bound to make its way into the conversation!"

"Fine. . ." Zexion and Alixen mumble.

"Have fun, and don't do anything that'll be shamed upon in the future!" Xanthia laughs.

"What do you mean by that?" The two other Nobodies shout before realizing what she means. "OH MY GOD! WHY IN THE NAME OF KINGDOM HEARTS WOULD WE DO THAT?"

"Anything could happen in a dark room." Xanthia and Saix laugh as they walk out of the bookstore (after paying for the books too).

The two Nobodies walk to the mall when Xanthia fishes something out of her pocket.

"THERE'S MY PHONE!" She says happily, holding a metallic blood-red phone with III and XIV on the back of it.

Saix looks at her with a surprised expression. "What else do you have in that jacket?" He jokes.

"I don't know but I'll probably find Xaldin's wallet and money that I won in a bet."

"This Organization's screwed up."

"You just figured that out now, Saix-puppy?"

"No, there's always been evidence of this Organization being insane and screwed up, but I think with the type of members we have and all the stuff we do, gambling, betting, etc., it proves it."

"Exactly." She looks over to her left. "Yay, Hot Topic!" She says, running over to the Hot Topic store.

"Oh come on! The last time you went there you nearly bought the whole store!" Saix calls after her before sighing. "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em." He mumbles, walking into the store after his girlfriend.

**-with Alixen and Zexion-**

"AH!" Zexion yells as his foot catches on something and he trips, landing on the floor with a thud.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, though I tripped."

Alixen holds a sphere of light in her hand. Zexion looks at her with wide eyes.

"How'd you do that?"

"I control light. I guess I forgot to tell everyone that."

"That would've been helpful thirty minutes ago. . ." Zexion walks over to her and sits down next to her. "Listen, Alixen. There's something I need to tell you. . ."

**-with Saix and Xanthia-**

The cashier and Saix stare in awe at how much stuff Xanthia puts on the counter, full of new boots, makeup, CD's, etc.

"Dude, you buying all this for her?" The cashier asks Saix without taking his eyes off of the pile of things.

"I honestly don't know."

"Hey girl, you buying this or is he?"

"I'm buying it myself."

"You sure you have enough money?"

Xanthia pulls out a wallet overflowing with money. "This good enough?"

The cashier's jaw nearly falls through floor. "Yeah." He squeaks. He turns to Saix. "You have anything you wanna buy?"

Saix puts down 10 CDs. "Just these."

The cashier nods and soon Saix and Xanthia walk out of the store, Saix carrying multiple bags while Xanthia only carries two. After they leave the cashier says "Restock aisle. . .Um, just restock everything in the store. . ."

Xanthia looks at Saix before motioning for the bags. "I'll take these back to the castle." Saix nods so Xanthia portals out, setting the stuff in her room before taking a portal back to Saix as they continue to scope out shops in the mall.

**-with Alixen and Zexion-**

Zexion dials Saix's phone number and puts it on speaker.

"Hellooooooooo~?" Xanthia says in a sing-song voice. "You two do anything yet~?"

"Yes, now GET US OUTTA HERE!"

Zexion and Alixen hear laughing from the other end coming from Saix and Xanthia.

"You do realize you could've just used a portal to go back to the castle or meet up with us."

Saix and Xanthia here aggravated groans from the other end. "You honestly didn't think of that? Wow, you're such a genius, bro!"

"Just come get us, please. . ."

Xanthia sighs, wiping a tear away from her eye because she was laughing too hard. "Fine, fine, fine." She mumbles and hangs up. She smiles at Saix. "My twin finally has a girlfriend! Now I have another thing to tease him with!" Her and Saix laugh again as they walk back to the bookstore.

"Oh yeah, Xanthia? Where'd you get all that money?" Saix asks right as the bookstore comes into view.

"I dipped into Superior's therapy funds."

"He needs therapy?"

"Apparently so."

They walk into the bookstore, to the back, and over to the closet door and Xanthia knocks on it. "You two still there? Will I be forever mentally scarred if I open the door?"

Zexion hits the door with his Lexicon that he summoned. "JUST LET US OUT!"

Xanthia laughs again, unlocking the door to find Zexion and Alixen holding hands. "Aw, my brother finally has a girlfriend!" She laughs, dodging getting hit by the Lexicon by backing up into Saix. "Okay, we gonna go back to Castle Oblivion or are we gonna go shopping again?" She asks once she's done laughing.

"I wanna go shopping." Alixen says.

The three other Nobodies nod and they go back to the mall.

**-At Castle Oblivion-**

Demyx skips back to his room while holding the stuffed-animal-thing that he got at the store. Roxas walks to Axel's room and opens the door, looking inside for the redhead.

"Axel? Hey Axe, ya here?" Roxas walks over to the closet because he heard a box fall. "If this is a joke, I swear I'll kill you with my keyblade. . ." There's a squeak so Roxas opens the closet to find Axel hiding in the closet. "Axe?"

Axel lets out a sigh of relief once he sees that it's only Roxas. "Oh it's just you, Roxy. Have you seen Xanthia?"

"Yeah, her, Saix, Alixen, and Zexion went to the mall. Let me guess, she threatened you because you burned Zexion's books?"

"Yup."

"You know she would never hurt you just because you burned some books, hell, she burns Zexion's books most of the time."

"Thank God. Hey, wanna go play videogames?"

"Sure."

Meanwhile in Demyx's room, he's sitting on his bed looking at the stuffed animal. "Oh yeah! Now I remember what they're called! They're called Furbies (sp?)!" The Furby(sp?) starts talking so Demyx laughs. "I don't know why the box said that this Furby was demonic! It's friendly!"

**-Back at the mall-**

Saix and Zexion are nearly crushed by how much stuff Alixen and Xanthia are forcing them to carry.

"I never knew that this much stuff could be bought by one person!" Zexion hisses, carrying all of Alixen's stuff.

"Oh please, if Xanthia didn't take a trip back to the castle to put away the stuff she got from Hot Topic, I'd be dead!"

"You let her shop at Hot Topic?"

"Yeah but it's nothing compared to both of you shopping there at the same time. I'm surprised you didn't take the storage racks, the flooring, and the poor cashier!"

". . . . . . . . . . . ."

"I rest my case."

Alixen and Xanthia walk back over to them. "You guys wanna go back to the castle now?" Xanthia asks. "I need to do something. . ."

"You're pranking Larxene aren't you?" Zexion asks.

"You have no proof of that! . . . . . . . . . Yes. . . . . . . . . . ."

Alixen opens a portal and the four Nobodies go back to Castle Oblivion to find. . .


	4. C4 and Furbies

"Organization XIII-"

"MEETING TIME WE KNOW!" The rest of the Organization yell as they appear.

Xemnas rolls his eyes and motions to dark crimson haired teenage girl standing next to him. "We have another new member. Her name is Alivix."

"Dude, is she asleep while standing up or something?" Xigbar asks, noting how Alivix doesn't seem to acknowledge them. "Or do we have another Lexaeus?"

Xemnas looks at the teen next to him and grabs her headphones so they snap back onto her head, making her jolt.

She rubs her ears and glares at Xemnas through black-tinted goggles (they look like sunglasses or whatever). "I was listening to music, no need to do that, dude." She mumbles, taking out her iPod Touch and setting the song on pause.

"Hn." Xemnas looks back at the tired Organization assembled in front of him. "Xanthia shall be your trainer."

Xanthia looks like she just got shot. "What? Why?"

"Well, because I'm the damn Superior and because I say so. Got that III?"

"Yes, sir. . ."

"Good, now we all need to discuss some things."

**-after the meeting-**

Marluxia's showing Alivix around the castle. "This is just a regular day for us."

Then suddenly Demyx shoots past them with Saix chasing after him.

Alivix takes her goggles off and puts them around her neck to show fiery orangish-reddish eyes as she looks at the two run down the hall and into another one. "Regular day, huh?" She asks as she looks back at Marluxia.

"Ehehehehe. . .Sadly, yes. . ." Marluxia laughs nervously. He coughs. "Okay, moving on." He says and leads them to the living room. "Okay, no one's here. Thank God. Alright, next room."

**-a few hours later-**

Axel, Xigbar, Roxas, and Xanthia all look at the stacks of games they have.

"Wanna play KIllzone 3? An Assassin's Creed game? A Guitar Hero game? Or a Rockband game?" Xanthia asks, looking at their favorite games.

"Killzone 3, dude."

"M'kay, anyone disagree?"

Roxas nods.

"Overruled. Now let's get back to shooting stuff!"

**-A few hours and energy drinks later**-

Xigbar, Xanthia, Axel, and Roxas are all passed out in the game room. Xigbar's asleep on the ceiling, Axel's passed out on the floor, Roxas is passed out on the couch, and Xanthia's passed out on a chair, sitting upside down somehow. Alivix walks past them then backs up, looking at them, she mumbles something about them being idiots before walking out, nearly tripping over a red bull can.

The next day Demyx and Xanthia are standing on the roof of the castle.

Demyx looks over the edge and pales. "Are you sure I won't die?"

Xanthia shrugs. "Probably not, but there's no time like the present to find out." She says and pushes him off.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Demyx screams, falling.

On the lower levels of the castle, Alivix and Axel are talking. Suddenly Demyx flies past a window near them.

"Uh. . ." Alivix starts to say, looking highly confused.

Axel sighs. "Don't ask. . ."

Back on the top of the castle, Xanthia rolls her eyes and opens a portal beneath Demyx, causing him to fall back down next to her through another portal. "Dumbass." She says before teleporting off to her room.

Demyx slowly gets up, shaking a little, then teleports to his room. He takes the Furby off his desk and sets it down next to him as he starts playing the sitar. The Furby's eyes open and it walks out of the room without Demyx noticing. Roxas walks by it while talking with Alivix and Axel.

". . . Wanna play kickball with it?" Alivix asks.

Axel and Roxas shrug then nod. Alivix picks up the Furby then all three of the Nobodies walk out to the training grounds. In a few seconds, the Furby's flying through the air and is now on fire and sparking a little. Suddenly it explodes, sparks and pieces of the toy going everywhere. The three Nobodies just stare at it in awe then they start laughing.

Meanwhile a piece of the Furby flies past a window in Xemnas's office.

Xemnas sighs. "I don't want to know. . ." He says before going back to paperwork.

"We have to do that again only with C4 strapped to it." Alivix smirks.

"I agree." Axel laughs.

"You both are crazy, but count me in." Roxas says.

"You haven't even begun to see how crazy I can be, Rox." Alivix laughs then she gets an idea. "Wanna shoot a larger Furby with a minigun?"

". . .We're in." Axel and Roxas say in unison.

Alivix smirks before walking off to get a minigun. Axel and Roxas follow her, trying to not step on the remains of the other Furby.

A couple hours later Xanthia and Saix walk through the training grounds and see the remains of the Furbies.

". . ." Both of them just stare at the remains, silently wondering what the hell happened but at the same time not wanting to know the answer, before walking off.


End file.
